This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
