So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
