what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
