it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
