so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
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