I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
