I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Even my vagina gasped.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
