5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
