don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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