dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
