There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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