Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Four minutes until I can fart!
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
