Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
