I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
she told me i tasted like america
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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