i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
so let's talk penis.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
