farters have to be the big spoon...
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
is it fun? or sober?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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