He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
