Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
