have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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