saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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