Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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