Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Text me some of your sweat
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