We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
