I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
