I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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