idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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