woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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