i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
