The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
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