Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
if only i could text you this smell
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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