shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
