I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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