So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
