Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
