I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
