I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
