Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I need water and some morals
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
