is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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