you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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