I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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