he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
