rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
