better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
