New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
