You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
