used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Randomize
