I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
