The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
