Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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