i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
