Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you would pick up someone in the library
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
