Duck Duck Cougar?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
