she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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